I had an opportunity today to just sit down for a minute and peruse one of my favorite books. Not my single most favorite... that would be the one God wrote... but this one is a fun read. Actually it is one of a series of books. I'm currently looking over "Uncle John's Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader". It's their 19th year to put one of these books out and each one is different and unique. I'm sure not as famous as Oprah, but I'd put any of these on my "Books To Read" list.
Anyway, I was just thumbing through the pages and something caught my eye. Now I've always been fascinated with HOW people think. Come to think of it, I'm fascinated at what happens when people DON'T think. There's an obvious question that comes immediately to mind when you see someone do something dumb. The question is; "What in the world were THEY thinking?" And the most common answer to that question is just as obvious as the question, itself... "They WEREN'T thinking".
But thanks to the consideration of most manufacturers, they put warning labels on their products for their consumers' safety. But at what point do warning labels cease to be of use? At what point to warning labels cease to serve a rational purpose? I mean, aren't some things pretty obvious? And the answer is... APPARENTLY NOT.
Uncle John gave a just a few warning labels that I couldn't help but stop and THINK about what MUST have happened to prompt them to put THIS on their product's label.
On a bottle of dog shampoo... "Contents should not be fed to fish." How hard would it be to get the dog shampoo and the fish food confused? I'm guessing pretty hard, but apparently somebody did it. And then probably tried to sue 'em. That's how it usually works.
On a baking pan... "This pan will get hot when used in the oven". Listen, if somebody doesn't KNOW THAT, they've got no business in the kitchen... it's dangerous enough in the kitchen for SMART people.
On a blanket... "Not to be used as protection from a tornado." Try to let THAT soak in a minute. A tornado has the wind velocity to completely destroy a very well constructed structure... Some guy looks out the window of his mobile home, sees a tornado coming, grabs his BLANKET, puts it over his head and thinks... "Now then... it can't hurt me now!"
On a fishing lure with a treble hook... "Harmful if swallowed". WOW... that one doesn't even deserve a thought.
On a cordless carpenter's drill... "Not intended for use as a dental instrument". Two things here... 1st... do dentists REALLY go to Home Depot to get their instruments? I kind of don't think so. 2nd... If your dentist IS using a cordless drill from Home Depot, you might want to consider taking a closer look at his diploma he's got hanging on the wall there somewhere.
On a toilet... "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." I don't guess that's all THAT weird, but come on... who's dog is going to take the time to read the warning label? Plus... if you get your drinking water out of the toilet, just remember... that blanket isn't going to protect you from a tornado.
On a plastic shower cap... "Fits one head." Now here's another one you might want to just take a minute and try to think through. "Fits one head." Say it out loud... fits one head. Has ANYBODY EVER tried to share a shower cap with your "friend" while you're BOTH in the shower at the same time? It has to be the guy who just got back from his dentist, who uses a cordless drill he got from Home Depot, with a cup of drinking water he fished out of the toilet bowl so he could have a drink while he's hiding under his blanket in the living room of his mobile home while a tornado is bearing down on him.
On a can of pepper spray... "May irritate eyes." MAY irritate eyes? I thought that was the whole purpose of pepper spray. Seems to me that the appropriate warning label OUGHT to say, "May NOT irritate eyes." Wouldn't THAT make more sense?
On a box of zip lock 6" sandwich bags... "Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury or death." IT'S A SANDWICH BAG for goodness sake!!! How many people do you know that will FIT inside a sandwich bag? Me either.
I suppose this last one has to be my favorite... check it out.
On a Japanese food processor... "Not to be used for the other use." WHAT OTHER USE??? I guess I'm a little slow, here, but what do people use food processors for BESIDES processing food? I'm not being facetious here... I tried... I STILL can't think of any other use.
Now I don't know about you, but I feel a lot better knowing that manufacturers all over the world are looking out for my safety. NOW I'll know that shouldn't spray pepper spray in my own eyes. I'll try to remember not to get inside a sandwich bag and zip it up... it might kill me. And thanks to the warning label, my head is the only one going in the shower cap when I'm in the shower from now on. No more swallowing treble hooks for me... no sir! Next time I'm at the dentist's office, I'm going to see if I can sneak a peak at his drill... just to make sure. I'm going to TRY to remember that stuff that comes OUT of the oven MIGHT be hot! 'm leaving the blanket and the drinking water alone... I'm not even going there. And for the life of me, I STILL can't imagine what the OTHER use for a food processor is... unless the guy who just got back from the dentist, in his living room, wearing a shower cap, hiding under a blanket because a tornado is coming, with his cup of water so he won't get thirsty, uses one to mix his paint. That's the only OTHER use I can think of.
But the fact of the matter is that we, as Christians have God's word, which should serve as our warning label concerning the things of this life. Jesus said in Matthew 10: 16 "Behold, I send your out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore, be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. The apostle Paul said that he would not have us ignorant concerning the wiles of the enemy. Now THAT'S a label we ought to read every morning when we get out of bed. We ought to be heads-up about the enemy's plan to steal, to kill, and to destroy.
You know what the coolest thing about walking with the Holy Spirit as our guide really is... HE reads all the warning labels for us.
I wonder if you can use a sandwich bag for a shower cap... Hey, It's Just A Thought.
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