I WENT TO THE MALL

Ever have one of THOSE days? You know the kind I'm talking about. The kind of day when you get to experience every single emotion such is common to man? One of those days when it seems like someone formed a line of people whose only aim in life is to get on your last nerve, and the line just keeps getting longer and longer? Nah... me either. I DID come close, however, just the other day.
Precious and I took off to run some errands and we had some predetermined objectives we wanted to accomplish. So... off we went. She went to do what she had to do, and I headed off to accomplish one of my objectives, which was to get my eyes examined and get some new glasses. Not a selective luxury, mind you, but a necessity born of getting older.
Getting older is wonderful... no... I'm not being sarcastic, it really is a wonderful thing. The only troubling thing about getting older is the fact that your physical body begins to betray you. Things begin to quit working. Some of them suddenly... and some more slowly. The eyes seem to be going out, but they do it little at a time... steadily, but thank God, it's relatively slowly.
Anyway, I confidently strode up to the nice lady at one of the eye doctors who's office is in the local mall and asked if I might sign up for an exam. She told me that they didn't have any openings until the next day. I thanked her and walked out.
Did I mention we were at the mall? OK... so off I go to the OTHER eye doctor's office, which is located at the opposite end of the mall. Dear Lord... have you been to the mall lately?
At any rate, after purposely striking out for the far end of the mall... after saying, "Oops, excuse me" at least a dozen times... after practicing my evasive maneuvers so as to avoid collisions with numerous types, styles, ages, and sizes of humanity, (successfully, I might add), I made it.
The nice lady said they'd get right to me. And they did. The good doctor fixed me right up, politely wrote out my prescription for my new peepers, and bravely out into the moving mass of humanity I again confidently went.
Successfully reaching the far end of the mall, again, (because that's where I parked), I happened to look and there it was! A sign posted in big red letters, right there on the front of the eye glass establishment, and it read... and I quote... "Glasses, 2 Pair, $149.95"
HEY... now THAT'S a deal!!! My little bride was also going to have to replace her spectacles in a day or two so I politely asked a fellow if I could get my glasses and the other pair would be hers. "Sure, that'll be fine", he cheerfully responded.
So I began looking for a pair of frames. I found a pair and confidently strolled back to the little table where he was patiently waiting for me and gave them to him. He looked at them and said, "Oh, I'm sorry, but these frames are more expensive than the frames included in our promotion. You'll have to pay the difference".
I turned to give the big sign another look, and there it was, right down at the bottom of this big sign written in big red letters was the exception clause or the disclaimer or whatever you want to call it. It said, in letters that would easily fit onto the thin ear piece of the frames I picked out... (small... I mean REALLY small)... "with frames costing $49.95 or less". Now I don't mean to be picky, here, not trying to be snooty about it, but DO YOU KNOW what $49 frames look like??!!
So doing the arithmetic in my head, arriving at the difference I would have to pay, between $49 and the frames I picked out, I told him that would be fine... we continued.
I had my choice of 3 different lenses. So I picked... Oh... I'm sorry, those aren't included in the promotion. Those will be extra. How much extra? $25. Well which one's ARE included? These here at the bottom of the page. What about these here in the middle? Oh, those are $10 extra. That'll be fine, let me have those, then.
Do you want the no line bifocals or the lined ones? Is that extra? Yes, but only $10. That'll be fine, let me have those, then.
This went on for probably 20 minutes or more. With each "Oh I'm sorry, that'll be extra", my jaws clenched a little tighter. Finally it gets to; "Would you like to purchase the 2 year unconditional warranty, if you lose or break your glasses, we'll replace them at no charge"... Is that extra?... Yes... Nope.
Would you like the scratch resistant coating?... Is that extra?... Yes... Nope.
Finally... and I do mean finally, we got done with this excruciating selection of options and the young man turns and begins clicking away on his computer. After what seemed like an awful lot of clickity clicks, he turns, faces me, smiles and says, "That comes to a total of $421.67".
Now my hearing is going pretty rapidly, too, but what he said didn't sound ANYTHING like $149. it took me a minute, but I leaned in closer, and quietly asked, "Are you kidding me?"
Now I'm not sure if it was the fact that my jaws were locked shut by this time, or if it was the look in my rapidly failing eyes that did it, but he seemed a bit taken by my response.
Maybe it was concern for himself that spurred him into action, I really don't know, but he quickly turned and clickity clicked a few more times and arrived at a significantly lower total cost. FINALLY, I was OK with it. By this time Lois has returned and is sitting beside me, quietly trying to get me not to destroy my witness... calmly assuring me that everything was just fine.
Then, with my jaws a bit more relaxed and in a normal state, I looked at another sign in the window... it said "Glasses In One Hour". I pointed to the sign, smiled and asked if THAT was a possibility. He said, "Let me go check and see if we have those lenses in stock... if we don't I'll have to order them". Come to find out, they'd have to order them... IMAGINE THAT!
SOOO... my 2 pair of glasses that would cost $149, that actually ended up costing a little less than $400, that would be ready in one hour, could be picked up on Tuesday of the following week. Did I mention that we were at the mall?
The only thing I know for sure is that I'm a better man for this experience. How do I know? Because James 1: 2 - 4 says: "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience, (endurance or perseverance). But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
So the next time you need a little boning up on your patience, just head to the mall. That ought to do it... but then Hey, It's Just A Thought.