You know, there are very few (if any) things more interesting than people. As I look back in time and even look around in the present, there are an awful lot of people I'd love to just sit down with, over a cup of coffee and talk.
There are a zillion questions I'd love to ask some of them. I love to ask Bill Gates; "How did you come up with Windows?... Where'd that come from?" I'd like to ask 4 time NASCAR Champion, Jimmie Johnson; "Does going 215 mph in the middle of 41 other cars so close to you that you can reach out the window and touch them ever scare you... just a little?"
I mean, stop and think about it... how fascinating would it be if we could just sit down in a relaxed atmosphere, lean back in a chair and just chit-chat... pick their brains... or ask them questions.
Just a quick interjection here, to let you know that one of my favorite TV shows is "Texas Country Reporter". I mean Bob Phillips has GOT to have the best job in the world. You travel around the entire State of Texas and talk to interesting people who are doing interesting stuff. That would be the coolest job ever.
There is even a pretty extensive list of people I'd like to ask; "What the #*!-X/ were you thinking??!! I won't go into that list for obvious reasons, but be honest... aren't there people you'd love to ask that question?
From time to time, people send me funny stuff, usually via email, and I got one the other day. It's a list of actual signs posted in various businesses.
On the restroom door of an office building: Toilet out of order, please use the floor below.
In a coin operated laundromat: Automatic washing machines: Please remove all your clothes when the light goes off.
On the door of a London department store: Bargain Basement upstairs.
In an office break room: After coffee break, staff should empty the coffee pot and stand upside down on the drainboard.
On the door of a second hand shop: We Exchange Anything - Bicycles, Washing Machines, etc... Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
On the door of a Health Food Store: Closed Due To Illness.
And probably my favorite on this list was the sign posted on the door of a repair shop: We can repair ANYTHING... Please knock, the buzzer doesn't work.
Wouldn't you love to sit down with the folks that wrote these and (assuming you can quit laughing long enough) ask them if this is REALLY what they meant?
Of all the people I'd love to talk to, there is ONE guy at the undisputed top of my list. One guy stands alone as the man I'd REALLY like to talk to and ask some questions. And if my guess is right, I'd guess this guy is somewhere near the top of YOUR list as well.
I'd love to sit down over a cup and speak candidly, openly, and honestly with the guy who came up with the idea of having people who had a problem or a question, call a toll free hot line and SPEAK TO A STINKING COMPUTER!!!!
The first thing I have to do is "press 1" to be able to speak my native language. Geez that burns my hide. Then I have to sit and listen to a long list of options, (none of which are what I'm calling about), and I usually have to listen to it several times before I'm able to make an educated guess. After I make my choice, then the computer asks me if my choice is actually the choice I made, and I must respond "yes" by pressing 1, "no" by pressing 2, or press 3 to have the list repeated to me again.
Along about this time, my jaws are beginning to ache because I've got my teeth clenched so tightly my gums hurt. But alas, I've finally made my selection and the nice computer simulated lady on the other end thanks me for making my choice and tells me that she will connect me now. Great!!! Except I DON'T get connected now; I get PUT ON HOLD. So then I get to sit and listen to music that I know Satan plays in hell just to torment the poor souls that are condemned to that place, and the awful music goes on for what seems like an eternity.
Finally... some lady, (usually) comes on the line and evidently she's substituting for the English speaking lady whose supposed to be talking to the people who "pressed 1", because I can't understand a word she says. Then after much travail, I finally get my point across as to what my problem (or question) is, and then with a cheerful voice, she tells me that she's not actually who I need to speak with, but if I'll hold on, she'll connect me to someone else. More music... more waiting... then nothing... dead silence... and like an idiot, I still sit there for another 1o minutes before I figure out that I'VE BEEN DISCONNECTED.
It's usually along about here when Precious comes in and sees me with my head in my hands, tears steaming down my cheeks, and my cell phone lying in the corner across the room. She lovingly asks me, "What's wrong?" And I don't have it in me to tell her. I just sort of shake my head and mumble. I know that God regards patience as a virtue, but there are times when I simply don't feel very virtuous. Seems like I remember reading somewhere that the testing of my faith produces patience... But wouldn't it be cool if that worked the other way. Wouldn't it be neat if the testing of my patience produced faith? Now THAT'S an idea... but it doesn't quite work that way.
James 1: 3, 4 says: "Knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have it's perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."
About the time I think I'm doing pretty well, all I need to do is pick up the phone and call one of the utility companies with a question... then I know that God is not through me yet. But then maybe it's just me, I don't know. Come to think of it, it's probably a good thing I can't talk to the guy who came up with the whole "Let them talk to the computer" idea... 'cause he's the guy I'd ask; "What the #?!*/ were you thinking??!! But then Hey... It's Just A Thought.
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