Having spent almost five years in prison, I've seen, read, and heard some pretty funny stuff. Not that prison is funny, because it's not... but I was there as an EMPLOYEE of the prison system, NOT as one in custody of the system; and being an employee, I was privy to some pretty interesting stories. The moral, however, of all the stories is that crime doesn't pay.
For example, I was reading the other day and came across an article in one of my favorite publications, "Uncle John's Bathroom Reader". They highlighted some interesting plights of would-be criminals. After reading some of the accounts, I almost had to wonder if we REALLY needed as many police officers as we have.
For example; they told of an armed robbery. Two armed bad guys held up a money courier. They pursued the courier at high speed, shooting at his tires before they finally forced him to the side of the road. The courier unhurt, but afraid watched as the crooks jumped out of their car, one of them using a crowbar forced the trunk open, reached in and grabbed a case lying there, jumped back into their car and sped away. They had managed to get away with the driver's first aid kit and left the money.
In New Braunfels, Texas, a guy named Robert was sentenced to 50 yrs in prison for selling drugs to the SAME undercover narcotics officer for the THIRD time in 10 years. At his trial, he pleaded "entrapment". He claimed after 3 yrs in prison (for the first offense) and then 6 yrs for selling to the same officer the second time, a couple of months after he got out, at his third trial he argued that he couldn't be expected to remember what the officer looked like. Now come on... that's funny! You'd have to surmise that old Robert isn't the brightest bulb in the pack.
Another guy learned it's not good to mix alcohol and crime. He was captured by police when the proprietor of a funeral home in Canton, N.Y., called the cops. Seems as though Joel might have had a few shots too many when he decided to break into the O'Leary's Funeral Parlor. He broke in, couldn't figure out how to get out, and since he was drunk, he took off his boots and his pants, opened up one of the display caskets and just decided to sleep it off. The next morning, the owner of the funeral home heard the guy beating on the inside of the casket lid and called the cops. Seems he couldn't figure out how to get of THERE either.
One fellow had some problems with deductive reasoning when he decided that stealing a box of Pop Tarts from the corner convenience store would be worth going to jail for... Now stop and let that sink in for a minute... POP TARTS!!! He managed to stuff the box of toaster pastries into his shirt but the clerk saw him; a physical confrontation followed in which the clerk tore the crooks shirt off as he was trying to escape. He finally managed to make it to the front door and ran outside, whereby he was immediately hit by a pickup pulling into the store's parking lot. Battered but still mobile, the man jumped up and took off running again... this time into the street where he was hit by a passing minivan. After a few minutes, he was able to regain his feet, but the cops caught up with him, hobbling down the street, shirtless and bloody about a block away.
You can't make this stuff up. But you've got to wonder exactly how many neurons are actually mis-firing in the brain for some poor soul to finally come to the conclusion... "Yeah, this is a good idea... or Yeah, yeah, that's what I'll do".
Listen, I know this may sound a little bit TOO redneck for you, but if you NEED a good laugh, or you're having a rough day, check your TV listing and tune in to one of the shows that shows dumb criminals doing dumb things captured on videotape. It's a hoot!
It'll also make you feel a lot better about yourself. NOT better because at least you're not a criminal, but better because ALL of us have pulled some pretty dumb stunts and by the grace of God, no one had the video camera on. Come on, now... fess up. We've ALL done something really dumb before and then immediately looked around to see if anyone saw us do it. It's not a disgrace to do something dumb. The disgrace is when we keep doing it over and over without ever "getting it". Come to think of it, sin is pretty dumb... and a lot of us just keep on without ever getting it.
The word of God exhorts us and encourages us to strive to do better in all areas of our lives. James chapter 4 tells us that it's one thing when we do something dumb (or sinful) out of ignorance, it's another thing altogether when we KNOW BETTER and do it anyway.
And please... TRY to remember... it's kind of like when you're done heating up the left-overs in the oven, the pan is HOT! I don't know about you, but I've picked up more than one hot pan in my life... and yes... I DO know better... but then Hey... It's Just A Thought.
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